Chances are, if you have identified that there are problems in your relationship, your partner is feeling it too.
They may not have the exact same emotions or feelings, and it may not be for the same reasons, but most likely, they are feeling it.
Here are 4 ways to approach the conversation of attending our relationship retreat with your partner in a considered and sensitive manner:
1. Talk about how you are feeling, don’t blame your partner.
It always helps to start the conversation with how you are feeling, rather than what your partner is doing wrong.
Let them know that your relationship is important to you, and this is why you feel it is important to spend the time, energy and money on repairing, rebuilding and refreshing your relationship in order to reconnect.
2. Be patient and compassionate and allow time to process
While you may have been thinking about couples therapy, your partner may not have been doing any of this groundwork.
So although they may know that there are problems in the relationship, the introduction of this conversation may come as a bit of a surprise to them.
Be mindful that they haven't had time to process what you have raised, nor thought about exactly how to respond.
They may not initially react in a positive way, their reaction may feel defensive. Try to be compassionate and understanding of this. Allow them time to consider what you have said, and then reconvene when they have had time to process the information.
3. Talk through options
Once you have established that you would both like to improve your relationship you can talk through the options to make this happen.
One of these options might be to attend our next Retreat.
If this is the case, consider having our website available for your partner to look through.
Talk about what it is that you're hopeful to gain from the retreat; better communication strategies; a better way to repair arguments and recover from disagreements; improved intimacy and affection; a plan for the future that you can both be happy with.
Choose what is at the core of what you want achieve and articulate that as sensitively as you can.
4. Assist in reducing their anxiety
If this has come as a shock to your partner they may have anxious feelings about the journey you are asking them to embark on.
If this is the case, it might be helpful to explain the process a little more.
Well before the two day relationship retreat, the first part of the process is to have a one hour initial consultation with one of our therapists.
There is no obligation to attend the retreat following this appointment and together with the therapist you can decide what is the right path for you and your relationship.
By only committing to one appointment, it might not feel as daunting to your partner.
And remember, if they feel uncomfortable or they do not want to proceed there is no obligation to do so, even after the initial assessment.
We can answer any questions they might have, and sometimes talking to one of us on the phone, even before the initial assessment, can provide some comfort and reassurance.
We are all very nice people!