by Tracey Quayle, Relationship Expert
As Christmas becomes a distant memory we often think about the year ahead and how we would like it to be. We make ourselves promises to lay off the alcohol, exercise more and start eating well.
Our desire to achieve these goals can quickly fade if our motivations are not connected to who we really are.
We can hope we will do all of these things, but if we don’t make goals that come from what we truly value then we can soon lose interest and give up.
Here’s a simple example.
Let’s say you know that feeling organised and in control makes you happy.
Start by thinking of little actions you could incorporate into your routine. We call this habit stacking.
Perhaps a simple habit to wake up one hour earlier would be an achievable habit, this way you aren’t starting the day rushed and stressed.
In this example you would create a habit that makes getting up earlier sound really appealing, so you might add another simple habit of grabbing a pen and paper with your morning coffee.
Imagine the feeling of sitting outside in the peace and quiet, drinking your coffee and enjoying some time to set yourself up for the day. Feel what that would be like, imagine it, and then make it happen.
If you would like to feel closer and more connected with your partner, what intentional moments (or new habits) can you create that can make their way into your routine?
Can you walk the dog together after work? Could you have have dinner outside alone together on a weeknight?
By being clear about what you can do together to have regular, intentional time you will be more likely to ensure that this happens.
Once this is part of your normal routine you can then add in another intentional act. Perhaps this time it is cooking together on a certain night of the week? Or not having the TV on but instead playing a game together or listening to music.
By creating these predictable, intentional moments together you are showing each other that your relationship is important and each partner feels valued.
When you really consider how you want your life to FEEL then you can align your goals to these feelings you want to create.
As you move towards that lovely feeling you will want to experience it again and again so it no longer feels hard but instead becomes something you truly enjoy.
If increasing your connection or intimacy with your partner is one of your goals for 2022, then our relationship retreats might be helpful.
Learn how to communicate well, align your expectations of yourself and each other. Learn how to resolve conflict, increase your intimacy and connection and set intentional goals together.
By putting energy into your relationship you are able to create the chemistry and connection that allows for better intimacy on all levels of your relationship.