by Tracey Quayle, Relationship Expert
The Christmas and New Year festive season can be one of the most trying times of the year for a relationship.
It throws up a lot of stressful and tense situations that we can usually avoid during the rest of the year.
So what can you do to help your relationship survive (and even thrive) through what can often be a very anxiety-invoking time.
Here are six simple tips for you to consider:
Tip #1 - Communicate and negotiate tasks and expectations of each other
Most fights occur due to unmet expectations. Let that sink in for a moment. It is crucial!
With so many extra commitments and responsibilities around the school holidays and festive period, it can be easy to slip with our communication.
So be clear about what you expect of your partner and vice versa. Clear and frequent communication is the key!
Tip #2 – Create and prioritise family traditions and rituals that help you feel connected
Around the festive season we are all pulled in so many different directions. It is easy to just “get through it”.
Therefore it is important that we know the times we will be able to share together and we prioritise traditions or family rituals that bring us close and give us a sense of connection and belonging.
Tip #3 - Make chores fun
Nobody likes doing chores, but they do present an opportunity to come together, work as a team and have a little fun!
If you have to clean up outside, wrap presents, tidy the house - do it together! Put on some music and bring some energy into it. You will feel like a team and can celebrate your hard work at the end of it with a cold drink and a chill out.
Tip #4 - If you are hosting any events over the festive period, let people help you.
People often ask what they can do to help and we often feel responsible for the whole event. This leads to more stress and this stress can often lead to a fight.
If everyone chips in, no one misses out on the fun and you will feel more relaxed.
Besides, many a meaningful conversation can be had while drying dishes in the kitchen.
Tip #5 - If you know what you would like for Christmas, be clear with your partner.
This is a big one!
If we hope our partner will pick up on our little hints we could be setting ourselves up for disappointment.
It is better to be clear and assertive so that it makes their job easier and you get what you want.
Oh, and this doesn’t have to be money based. You could ask for home-made vouchers for a date night, breakfast in bed, a massage. Anything that makes you feel cared about and special.
Tip #6 - Take photos!
This intentional coming together helps with connection and a sense of belonging.
Find a moment alone with your partner and take a photo. Know you are in this together and create an intentional moment of connectedness.
By stopping and breaking away from the chaos of a gathering, you are showing each other you are important.
So there you have it. Give one, two, three or even all of them a go! It might just make this festive season that much easier.